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Mum in black and white on the right, circa late 1940s
Me in colour on the left (2 pics), circa late 1970s |
As Jackie mentioned in her lovely tribute to her beautiful mother (see
previous post), we both not only have in recent years mourned our beloved mothers but we've been so profoundly blessed to have had such strong and loving relationships with them throughout our lives. As we write and reminisce over our childhoods, our words and experiences attest that our earliest journeys were so deeply intertwined with our mothers—their compassion, wisdom, charm, humour and sense of adventure follows and guides us wherever we go.
As anyone who has lost a family member will know, grief is a daily battle but love doesn't die; it just seems to grow. My mother's influence in my life is as vibrant now as it has ever been.
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| My mother Susee, as a student nurse (and midwife) in India 1961 |
Ever since I was a kid, I longed for a photograph of my beloved mother as a little girl.
To
have just one glimpse of her in childhood would have made my life. Of
course, we had wonderful and iconic photographs of my mother during her
teens and twenties but never one from her girlhood. Amid my desperate
pleas, Mum would often lovingly console me:
"Not everyone had cameras back then, Amma (daughter). That's just how those days were."
Flash
forward to October 2016: an inconspicuous visit by a family member
living in the U.S. to an old friend, paved the way for my lifelong dream
to come true.
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| Mum, circa 1947 |
At the home of his friend, my uncle stumbled upon an old black and white school photo
circa 1947. As school photos go, it was
standard fare with rows of neatly groomed teachers and students in
classic school day poses. As my uncle searched for familiar faces, the
sweet-faced little girl at the bottom of the photograph made him stop in
his tracks. My uncle excitedly exclaimed:
"I remember that little face."
His
old friend as it turned out was one of my mother's former
teachers from
her Adventist alma mater in India during the late 1940s. This retired school teacher had the
holy
grail that I had spent four decades looking for.
My uncle, kindly made a copy and sent the priceless photograph to my dumbfounded family.
My
brother, father and I wept tears of joy, and in one instant: felt such
deep and abiding love for (and from) my mother and relived the heartache and
immediacy of her loss. It was such a powerful and unforgettable moment.
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| Mama Bear and her cubs |
For me, receiving my mother's childhood photo was
both a gift and a dream come true. An
heirloom for the ages. It was like
a message from my mother across
time and
space. I had spent decades
praying, wishing and searching for her childhood photograph and it
somehow found its way back to me—a year and a half after her passing.
Not only did I get to see what my mother looked like as a child but it confirmed what my mother always told me:
"I looked just like you did!"
She
truly did. The photograph above leaves me speechless. A carbon copy of
how I looked in kindergarten. It's as if I existed in a photograph
thirty years before my time.
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| Best friends forever |
My mother and I were so close. She was my best friend and the love of my life. It's as if heaven sent Mum back to me. I waited over four decades for my dream to come true.
It was worth the wait.
Whenever Mother's Day approaches, there's always that pang—that gut-wrenching feeling that says:
you're not here and I'm not done loving you or looking after you.
It's that dance with grief and stability, that's so tough. But somehow,
inexplicably, strength kicks in and you keep moving. It's that
overwhelming feeling of love and being loved that gets you through. I
wish this for everyone. Happy Mother's Day everyone.
And Happy Mother's Day Mama. Love you. đź’—
