Saturday, March 31, 2007

The cat

It's ten o'clock on Sunday morning and Mass has just begun. I'm up there on the altar with Father Coyle and Michael O'Docherty. I'm wearing a cassock and cotta and I'm in charge of the altar bell. We are doing the usual Latin responses to the priest, parrot fashion, as the congregation look on. I hear murmers coming from the congregation and glance back over my shoulder. There's a black and white cat walking up the centre aisle, everyone is watching it and doing nothing. The cat walks onto the altar and Father Coyle notices it. Brian, he says in stage whisper, get rid of the cat. I get up from my kneeler, catching the bell with my cassock and send it ringing across the altar. Father Coyle gives me one of his scary looks and points at the cat. I pick up the bell and put it back in it's place. The cat had run in under the priest's seat at the side of the Altar. I reach in and try to catch the cat, it claws the back of my hand drawing blood then runs between my feet and back down the aisle and out of the church.

Father Coyle told me off after Mass for getting blood on my cassock.


  1. Poor Brian! And for all your hard work too! Yes, the clergy aren't always kind are they? ;)

    I know some church horror stories too. I'll jot them down for a post down the road.

  2. Don't get me started on the kindness and goodness of the church!! lol


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