Friday, September 25, 2009

September

Every year, when I see kids rushing to buy new notebooks, erasers, and even their snazzy new duds, I tend to envy them. In my recollection, one of the nicest things about the school year came at the beginning in September, because the opportunity for a fresh start presented itself. For about a week or so, amid the backdrop of autumn, you could anticipate a better year for yourself. The sense of promise dissipated quite quickly, however. In my case, every year ended the same, with none of my initial expectations fulfilled. How very Charlie Brown of me.

I enjoyed certain aspects of school: especially recess, arts and crafts, and trips to the library, and actually did well in academics but for the most part I dreaded it. I was never socially, as adept or savvy as some of the other kids, who very well could have fit into any boardroom, laboratory, football stadium, Broadway play or fashion runway...or so it seemed. Come October, that newness and excitement all but disappeared into a faint and distant memory. I suppose that’s why September still gets me into a renewal sort of mood. Perhaps it’s the effect of a new season: autumn in all its glory or simply knowing that the feeling of anticipation doesn’t last very long, making it even more important to initiate change.

For me, the month also means a birthday. It's like September has always been the start of something big. What it is, I can’t exactly put a finger on. Perhaps it’s just the anticipation of what one could become, when all one can feel is hope.

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