Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Pants Fall Down

In second grade, as I was skipping rope with a few of the girls, my pants began a slow and steady slide off of my waist. I was indeed aware that morning that these trousers were not as tightly fit as ugly brown corduroys should be. This observation alone should have set off alarm bells, preventing me from participating in a spirited round of jump rope before my peers. Seeing, however, that I sucked at every other physical activity save for hopscotch and the later to be discovered "20 Minute Workout", I happily joined in. What could there possibly be to worry about? The fluorescent pink skipping rope was calling me. The colours of jump rope available in the 80s tended to create a slight intoxication effect in my body and mind. Sadly, my joy was short-lived, as the slipping pants continued their journey past the "bejeweled area" and mercifully or ironically or cruelly (depending on how you look at it) paused just above my knees - and only because I was able to catch them in mid flight. 

This unexpected turn of events enabled everyone to catch a glimpse of the awful long johns: the kind made for boys - as evidenced by the roomy crotch (my brother and I each received a pair) I was sporting underneath my ugly brown cords. My father forced me to wear them - he often picked out the drab, homely clothing he thought were warm, cheap, appropriate and fat enough for me to wear. My friends gasped and quickly alerted me. My brother's cute best friend, Kyle, happened to be watching and laughed uncontrollably at my humiliating predicament (I still remember his squeals), before he was mercifully chastised by my friends. I'm surprised this incident did not inspire a demeaning jump rope rhyme - or a revamping of an original, in my honour:

Dressed in yella
Went to meet her handsome fella.
On the way her brown cords busted
How many people were disgusted?
1! 2! 3! 4! (etc.) 

I couldn't pull my pants fast enough and declined other invitations to jump rope later that week - it was too soon.


  1. I feel so bad that this happened to you. This reminded me of how my classmates hardly ever let me play jump rope with them. I was not good at physical activities either. That's a clever rhyme that you came up with.

  2. Aw, many thanks Lara! Childhood can be rough. I had many experiences when kids wouldn't let me play with them too. I feel bad that you had ot go through that too. I guess it's good to get that under our belts, early on.

    I'm happy you liked my rhyme! :)

  3. Ah - the loveliness of kids...

    Fortunately I do know the Pants in the USA means Trousers... see in the UK Pants is exclusively used for undergarments... And don't go there with Fannypack which really got my wife confused!

  4. Furtheron: Loved your comment. Thank goodness my "pants" in the UK sense of the word remained in tact...whew! LOL.


Thank you for visiting "I Miss My Childhood". Join in the fun and leave a comment!

Related Posts with Thumbnails