Friday, March 31, 2017

Crayola Daze

Life is uncertain, so let's continue finding something to celebrate every day. Now, I am not the most consistent person when it comes to my trends, or my writing. I am trying hard to make the effort. You can keep encouraging me. I have included today's list below, and out of these, I chose "National Crayola Crayon Day" as it peaks my inner child's artistic enthusiasm, as well as reminds me of a funny story about myself and my heart-thumping 5th/6th grade crush, Ken.

Oh lord, Ken... He and his family were from deep in the heart of Texas. Ken was the middle son of three boys, and six years my senior. With that rich, Texan drawl, and his sky blue eyes and sandy hair, he was the wild child star of my middle school dreams (insert hilarious giggle there). His parents and my parents were best friends, they hung out and visited one another, had dinners, coffee, played dominoes, all that.  Funny how you think at that age, but I was convinced that if I could just have one good opportunity to sit down and talk to him, that I could surely win his heart!

I was just a young girl, Crayola Dazed and Confused.

Christmas was upon us, with its frosty air and magical miracles, making just about anything possible. Just as luck would have it, Christmas Day, Mom and Dad's friends (his Mom and Dad) had invited us to come by a little later for snacks, or dinner, or something I don't quite remember exactly. You see, my family always had our big dinner and gift exchange on Christmas Eve, so Christmas morning was spent, each of my sisters individual families, home with the children opening up their own "Santy-clause gifts". Therefore, we were free for visiting.

In a mad panic, I flew to my room, and began to "gussy up", as the old folks might say. I dug into my collection of play make-up, and began to paint myself up to the height of glamour with my sexy "Crayola brand Eyeshadow" in Birds Egg Blue, nonetheless. Rarely had I gotten my makeup so perfect, I thought in my childish little brain. I was set. This was it, the night that I would bend my destiny to be the next Mrs. Ken ___man. He would surely fall prey to my Crayola magic spell.

Not sure if anybody remembers this stuff, but funny.

We jump in Dad's car, and descend down the driveway, my mind racing, my heart pounding. 'I'm going to see him, this is it. Oh to be near him, breathing the same oxygen.' I thought, frantically in my heaving panic. As we rolled up their driveway, my knees grew weaker... praying I would know what to say, what to do, and even to get the proper moment alone with Ken to weave him into my web of love. What could possibly go wrong? The timing was so right, there wasn't a thing to worry about.

The ___mans greeted us with smiles, inviting us in. Of course the parents were all in their usual, nonsensical, adult holiday banter, I nervously stood in the living room (the t.v. buzzing in the background, some now-ancient football game). Looking around, I see his younger brother Craig, sitting on the couch. Feeling so nervous and shaky that I could tip over at the slightest breeze, turn my head just as Ken comes out of the Kitchen. He meets my gaze.

"Yew wanna siddown, Jaacckie??" he bellows, in his thick as Texas oil accent.

After all that smooth-talk planning, I could not find a human English word in my body, my throat was dry and I couldn't seem to muster a sound from anywhere. 'What is wrong with you, Idiot? This is your destiny, your chance. You're screwing up, SAYYY SOMETHINGGG!!!' I simply stood there breathing, as I looked around at the chair he was gesturing to... teetered backwards, and sat as I nodded, retardedly, staring up into the overcast sky that was his eyes.

Mesmerized, I attempted a sexy smile (as if, with my awkward 5th grade goober self).  The room suddenly felt ice cold as my heart thumped heavily in my chest. Ken stepped into the kitchen for a moment, and I tried to gather my senses, and straighten up and act like the grown-up I so wanted to be in that moment. Suddenly, he emerges back in the living room with his glass of sweet tea in his hand. With a lovely southern smile, he looked at me and velvetly beckoned  "Jaaacckkieeee? Yew wawnnt som' Chicken an' Dressin??" His voice... his words swept over me like some delicious tropical breeze. At that very moment, the gods shined upon me and there was nobody else in the room except Him... and Me. 'Oh this is just like I planned it. I am going to talk to him now, and tell him exactly how I feel. Once he understands how much I love him, he will realize he feels the same way and he will be mine!! This is it, okay... Ken, get ready to fall in love. This is so meant to be...' I thought, madly, as I moistened my throat and finally found words.

I looked him square in his baby blues, opened my mouth, and in a shy, high-pitched mouse's voice, squeaked out raggedly...

"Nooo thank yeww!!"

The moment was gone, lost in a glimmer of 'just my luck', my timidness and ultimate stupidity, never to be found again, I was sure.

Just as full, warm and larger than life as he had been standing before me, in a fast ghost breeze he was gone, muttering something to his parents about leaving for his girlfriend's house and that he would see them later. I sat there, heart sinking into my stomach, wondering why I was such a scared little loser and why I couldn't have just done everything right like I had rehearsed in my head. 'Maybe next time, I'll have more time, I can win his heart... I'll get it right... next time.' If there is a next time... I don't think there really was.

Numbly, I sat, waiting for my parents' visit with the ___man's to be over, and we rode home, my visions of how I could have done better skipping through my head. We walk into our still Christmas glitter laden house, and I mope back to the bathroom, look in the mirror and to my horror, I see that my trusty and glamorous "Crayola Eyeshadow" has half melted off, sometime in the evening, and that I had bared my soul with shadow only on one eye, and smeared lipstick. Looking like a greasy little baby who'd been playing with Mom's make-up.

So much for mesmerizing him with my womanly wiles. Childhood, isn't it just funny looking back?

Happy Crayola Crayon Day, Other favorite holiday, or whatever you choose to remember and celebrate today. Hey, it's YOU, it's LIFE. That's all the reason we need to clink glasses and cheer. Enjoy, and read about the rest of them below.

Just me,

Some of these little 'obscure' or little-known holiday observations are pretty self-explanatory and some of them may boggle the brain, and leave you unsure of their origin. There's always but I will try to cue you in if I can (in parenthesis).

Today's Oddball Holidays (3/31):
  • César Chávez Day
  • Dance Marathon Day
  • Eiffel Tower Day
  • National "She's Funny That Way" Day (female comediennes and other ladies who make your day just more comical and easy to smile thorugh, like me)
  • National Bunsen Burner Day
  • National Clams on the Half Shell Day
  • National Crayola Crayon Day
  • National Farm Workers Day
  • National Tater Day
  • No Homework Day (Observed the last Friday of March and annually on May 6th)
  • Terri's Day
  • World Backup Day (back up all your data, well do this regularly anyway)
Actually, from another source, this Facebook page dedicated to "Holidays that Might Get Overlooked" I cite the following, "Today, Friday, March 31st, 2017, is National Clams on a Half Shell DayWorld Backup Day, National "She's Funny That Way" Day, International Hug a Medievalist Day, International Transgender Day of VisibilityTater DayNational Prom DayThe Eiffel Tower Day, Oranges And Lemons Day, Terri's Day, Caesar Chavez Day (California), Thomas Mundy Peterson Day (NJ), Feast Day of Saint Balbina (patron against diseases of the lymph glands, scrofula), Lunaria (ancient Rome), and Sacred Drama Day (ancient Babylon)."  Might provide a little more info if you're interested.


  1. OMG Jax, how sweet is this post! I felt as though I was back in time with you, every step of the way (on the edge of my seat), cheering for you. It's always those moments that stick with you. Bitter sweet yet beautiful. I remember that makeup too! Aw, Bird's Egg Blue eye shadow, too cute.

  2. Yes I had to make that dramatic, Chelly, you most likely WELL remember crushes we had when we were that age. To US, at least, they were very serious... we thought we were really in love. So I wanted to illustrate that. Looking back, all I can do is laugh at those crushes. But weren't we lucky to know that feeling? Life is magic, even when it's dark. Light always prevails... when we're down, that's the best time to write or read these funny memories.


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